Weekly Photo Challenge: Yellow

Yellow, how could I resist? Stubborn dandelion popped up after the snow melted.

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Some more yellow:

From Hiding to Blogging

Ese’s Voice

Pho Trablogger

Matt Von P

Passion Through Poetry

Parallel Lines

The Seeker

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Weekly Photo Challenge :Twinkle

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I bought these glasses at a thrift store, and set them right in front of the lamp so they twinkle!

Here are some more great twinkling pics:

The Ambitious Drifter

Retired and Rewired in Nicaragua

 

Laws of Mom Physics

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There are about four days left before school reopens, and I have mixed feelings about this. Summer is ending, this is a nostalgic and often bittersweet kind of feeling. After a certain age it reminds you that  you are at that late summer stage in life.
I will miss sleeping in and being awoken by my twins acting like lion cubs and lounging on me, late and lavish breakfasts and the no stress late nights because no school the next day.
However I also miss the few hours of peace and quiet, the clean house, the lack of screaming after every five minutes and the time away from the kitchen because summer vacation is also basically just one big “I’m hungry…” all the time.
You’ve got to have both experiences or life would be pretty boring…which made me realize that two extremes of people commit suicide : those that have everything and those who have nothing. No this has nothing to do with my blog post, sorry for that depressing thought. It’s just my brain has all these tabs open at once, you know all that creativity and stuff.

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What I wanted to blog about today was the “Laws of Mom Physics”
1. The amount of a mother’s love is constant,  it simply changes from one form to another from mother to mother and even in the same mother. Like “overprotective love” to “please get out of my hair because I don’t want to hurt you” love.
2.  Every action from a child will cause an increased reaction from a mother. For example a hug from a toddler will result in a much tighter hug and many smooshy smooches from an exuberant mommy. A ridiculous demand from a teenager will result in a higher decibel verbal reprimand and an increased possibility of house arrest. 
3.  The stickiness of the floors is directly proportional to the necessity of the reopening of schools.
4.  The capacity of a mother’s bladder increases exponentially with her number of offspring.
5.  The angle of projectile vomit spewing from a noxious child can be calculated perfectly by mommy ready with the plastic bag.
6.  Dinner ready and set on the table will always result in all the kids NOT being hungry at the given point in time.
7.   Pi(e) is always equal to happy children especially when served with ice cream.

There are many more laws, please feel free to add yours.

Kids in the car

Every time we go out with all the kids we swear it will be our last trip. We remind our snarling, fighting brood as they cause pandemonium. I write this post ( on my treasured S3) in the car as their drama unfolds in a very familiar way…

Middle child: Mom! She pulled my hair and choked me!
Twin 2 : she’s lying!
Middle child: No I am not!
Twin 1: Eww who farted?
Twin 2: It was you!
Teen 1: SHUT UP!
Me: STOP IT ALL OF YOU
Middle child: Stop pushing!
Twin 2:  then look out your own window!
Middle child: That is my window!
Twin 2: Idiot! Stay on your own side!
Twin 1: Someone keeps farting! (lots of laughs)
Twin 1 : You aren’t allowed to look at my window(in a very whiny voice)
Teen 1: SHUT UP!
Teen 2 : YOU SHUT UP!
Twin 2 : (whispering)You’re ugly!
Middle child : No you’re ugly!
Desi guy (husband):We are never taking you guys anywhere again! (laughs and giggles from the back seats)
Twin 2 : I need water I’m thirsty.
Me : No you had water before we left…
Twin 2 : But I’m thirsty again!
Me: Its only been ten minutes.
Twin 2 : Mommy!
Me : No then you have to go pee again and we aren’t stopping every fifteen minutes for that.
Twin 2 : I’m hungry.
Teen 1 : OMG SHUT UP! Mom why do we always have to bring them?
Twin 2: :Stop saying that you are so mean!
Me : What are you looking at?
Desi guy : Nothing
Me : Yes you are!
Desi guy: Its nothing
Me (snatching his cell) : Stop it and keep your eyes on the road!
Middle child : Hey motorcycle dude!
Me (hissing) : Stop that!
Twin 1 : But its a motorcycle dude! (Lots of giggles)
Me : The window is open, motorcycle dude can here you!
More giggling.
Teen 1 : SHUT UP!
Desi guy : THAT IS IT WE ARE TURNING BACK!
Silence for  thirty seconds.
Twin 1 : Who farted?
Middle child : Ewww!
Twin 2 : I’m thirsty!
Twin 1 : Move over and stop looking out my window!
Teen 1 : SHUT UP! ( loud Indy music coming from earphones)
Teen 2 : oh my god you shut up and stop screaming shut up!

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Acting like angels as soon as they realize I am taking a picture.
Desi guy :  what are you doing? Put the phone away you made me miss my turn!
Me : SERIOUSLY?
Desi guy :  yes. STOP TAKING PICTURES!
Drive in silence for two minutes, then stop at our destination.
Desi guy : Ok only teen 1 and 2 are getting off with mom. You three stay in the car with me.
Middle child : Awwww why?
Me : You dont need uniforms
Twin 1: But we wanted to play hide and seek and this is the best store for that!
Me : Are you kidding me?
Twin 2 : Puleeeeeeze?
Teen 1 : SHUT UP!
Teen 2 : oh my god you shut up, you’re louder than all three of them!
Teen 1 : nobody shut up!
Five minutes later
Me : Come on we cant buy uniforms today.
Desi guy : What happened?
Me :There is a one hour wait at least.
Desi guy : You’re exaggerating
Me : Nope.They made a waiting area. And it is full..must be at least fifty people sitting there. You wanna wait in the car with these three?
Desi guy : Nope. Let’s go
Twin 1 : Awww!
Twin 2 : Yay!
Middle child : Move over!
Twin 2 : I’m thirsty!
Teen 1 : SHUT UP!
Desi guy : THAT IS IT WE ARE NEVER TAKING YOU GUYS ANYWHERE AGAIN!
One minute silence.
Twin 1 : Who farted?
Desi guy : Damn it I missed the exit again
Twin 1 : Dont lick me!
Me : Stop licking your sisters.
Middle child : I’m not licking her. I just  licked my hand.
Twin1 : Yeah and then she touched us with it!
Me : Where are you going?
Desi guy : What? Oh damn it missed the turn again.
Me : I think you should teach me to drive now…
Twin 1 : who farted?
Oh my god I need a vacation.

Art Exhibit at MuslimFest 2014

MuslimFest was lots of fun for the kids. Jumping castles, slides and face painting. Lots of food and music. Big crowd!

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This was painted live (but I missed it ) just outside the art exhibit.

My stuff was right in front and got the best light (lucky me)

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This is the picture that sold. Yay!

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This is some other work exhibited there. I messed up the pic and the lighting wasn’t the best in this corner. But the paintings were good.

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These are prints someone had put up of their original work. There were a lot of other paintings but the kids didn’t want to stay more than five minutes and I couldn’t get any more pictures. The jumping castle was becoming a matter of life or death for them.

Gotta clean the house today (although I am really tempted to start another painting) before the health department puts a quarantine sign on our front lawn. Yes it is THAT bad. The summer vacation needs to end now.

Art Exhibition at Celebration Square

There is going to be an art exhibition at Celebration Square in August at the MuslimFest. Realizing that I may be the modern day Monet I have decided to bestow my artistic dazzle upon the world. Or at least whoever turns up for the exhibit. I just finished the application form. Which took me five hours since the computer knows I don’t have a whole lot of time and loves to test my patience. After filling the entire form (all 3450 pages) I was informed the link had failed. Woo hoo I got to fill the whole thing again!

Anyways here is what I am submitting:

This is how a great masterpiece was born…

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Yes the woman is holding her heart.

I used Prismacolor soft pencils for this.

And this one is literally about to be born…

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I used oil pastels and the soft pencils on Mi-Teintes pastel paper for this one. It has real purty colors! Something less dramatic for people who are squeamish…

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This one is also soft pencils and oil pastels on Mi-Teintes pastel paper.

I have to finish two more paintings to submit. If I stop blogging you will know I made millions off these magnum opi ( of course opi is a word, it is plural for opus!) and am now lolling about on some tropical island sipping the fancy drinks they serve in coconut shells.

 

Just Enjoy It

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I am not going to give myself airs thinking I have been chosen by a Higher Power to show staggering patience and unbelievable tenacity so that I can complete some deep and meaningful task. I think God throws stuff at ( a select group of chosen) people like me to keep us entertained. Like having a desi guy as a husband (desi: of Indian sub-continent origin) or five wildlings for children. A germophobic health freak best-friend. Having a split personality: Angry Woman, Procrastination Woman, Can’t Stop Laughing Woman, Desi Mom, White Dad( let’s have a barbecue).

I found it very entertaining, for example, when desi guy ran a red light while cruising down the street at a leisurely speed:

Me: “You know you just ran a red light right?”

Desi Guy (slightly panicked): “Are you serious?”

Prodigal Son (enjoying this highly): “Yes, oh my God. What were you thinking we could have been killed.”

The roads had been absolutely empty. No excuse though.

Desi Guy: “Why didn’t you stop me?”

Me: “You are the one driving.”

Desi Guy: “This is your fault. You distracted me.”

With my incredible beauty? With my mesmerizing siren song? Had I been picking my nose? Whatever. It was my fault.

Speaking of noses and picking and stuff, teenager 1 wanted me to pierce her nose.

Me: “I don’t know, it’ll hurt.”

Teenager 1: “I can take it. You got it done that way when you were my age.”

Me: “By a village woman who had pierced the noses of half the country. It’ll be faster with a gun.”

Teenager 1: “omg just do it for me please.”

Me: “Look at this needle. See how big it is. This is going to hurt.”

Teenager: “Just do it.”

Me: “I can’t.”

Teenager: “Just do it.”

Me: “I can’t.”

Teenager 1: “Please!”

Me: “I can’t. My hands are all shaky.”

Teenager 1: “Oh my god mom just do…ow. You did it.”

Me: “yup.”

Teenager 1: “That’s it?”

Me: “yup.”

Next morning:

Teenager 1: “Mom. Mom. MOM!”

Me (packing lunches for school) “What?”

Teenager 1: “Can you pierce my nose again? The thread came out.”

Which wall shall I bang the frontal lobe of my cerebral hemisphere against?

My relatively new best friend is a doctor. She does not practice. Thank God. She is relatively new because although I have known her for three years, the first two I kept losing her phone number. I ran into her several times at Wal-Mart and school, each time I took her phone number and each time effectively managed to have it deleted via the kids. It was God’s way of telling me don’t bother, it is not meant to be. Then sometime last year I met her outside the school and dragged her to my house for tea. The tea I make is absolutely narcotic, people can never get enough and they keep coming back for more. I am a loud-mouthed-pajama wearing-female Dr. Lecter who doesn’t serve liver. Or kidney. Just tea, and I drag people I am acquainted with back to my house for that tea. I want to see what would happen.

Anyhoo…my relatively new best doctor friend has some peculiarities. She won’t let me shop at Food Basics because one of the cashiers there has a fungal infection which she diagnosed after observing it for half a nanosecond one day while shopping there. We can’t shop at the dollar store now either. Or Target. Or Suzy Shier or Winners. You know risk of frequent fatal fungal infections.

I wonder if her liver would go well with a spot of tea? Either way, I will just enjoy it.

2010-Madhatter

(pics from Google)

Feeling Artsy

I think it was the fact that spring finally decided to make an appearance, I have been feeling all artsy this past month.

2014-05-18 21.41.20 I stole teen 1’s canvas board and did some clouds in acrylic.

2014-05-18 22.57.00My suddenly blooming garden inspired me to wear down a set of pastels.

2014-05-23 10.30.37 I am almost out of blue pastels.

2014-05-26 20.51.43yup blue is definitely all gone now…

2014-05-28 21.21.07Since I have consumed most of the pastel crayons I turned to acrylic paint (swiped it from teen 1) and started this one. I hope I can finish it tomorrow. I am thinking of dumping the kids on my worse  better half and taking a serious art course. Seriously. Or maybe I should get that novel done, the Best Seller List is patiently waiting for me. The Mayor is retiring too though…that could be fun.

Weekly Photo Challenge: Letters

Letters

Can’t imagine life without them. But since they are all around us all the time, sometimes we just don’t seem to notice them, or really appreciate them. So thank you Cheri Lucas Rowlands for reminding us of their beauty and importance.

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As a mother when I see these letters written by my kids (on endless love letters and pictures) nothing can describe the feeling of love that washes over me.

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These letters name what I find in every corner, under the sofas, beds, the dining table and even in long tangled hair of Twin 2. I love cheerios. I just don’t like cleaning them up. I also don’t like the fact that they only seem to stick to my feet.

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As a writer these letters on this device are my best friends, the ones on the screen and on the keyboard. The letters G-O-O-G-L-E take me to places I could never go.