A couple of days ago we had snow, and then rain. Then snow. And then rain again! This rainbow was a nice surprise, now gone but not forgotten!
Category: Canada
Art Exhibit at MuslimFest 2014
MuslimFest was lots of fun for the kids. Jumping castles, slides and face painting. Lots of food and music. Big crowd!
This was painted live (but I missed it ) just outside the art exhibit.
My stuff was right in front and got the best light (lucky me)
This is the picture that sold. Yay!
This is some other work exhibited there. I messed up the pic and the lighting wasn’t the best in this corner. But the paintings were good.
These are prints someone had put up of their original work. There were a lot of other paintings but the kids didn’t want to stay more than five minutes and I couldn’t get any more pictures. The jumping castle was becoming a matter of life or death for them.
Gotta clean the house today (although I am really tempted to start another painting) before the health department puts a quarantine sign on our front lawn. Yes it is THAT bad. The summer vacation needs to end now.
Art Exhibition at Celebration Square
There is going to be an art exhibition at Celebration Square in August at the MuslimFest. Realizing that I may be the modern day Monet I have decided to bestow my artistic dazzle upon the world. Or at least whoever turns up for the exhibit. I just finished the application form. Which took me five hours since the computer knows I don’t have a whole lot of time and loves to test my patience. After filling the entire form (all 3450 pages) I was informed the link had failed. Woo hoo I got to fill the whole thing again!
Anyways here is what I am submitting:
This is how a great masterpiece was born…
Yes the woman is holding her heart.
I used Prismacolor soft pencils for this.
And this one is literally about to be born…
I used oil pastels and the soft pencils on Mi-Teintes pastel paper for this one. It has real purty colors! Something less dramatic for people who are squeamish…
This one is also soft pencils and oil pastels on Mi-Teintes pastel paper.
I have to finish two more paintings to submit. If I stop blogging you will know I made millions off these magnum opi ( of course opi is a word, it is plural for opus!) and am now lolling about on some tropical island sipping the fancy drinks they serve in coconut shells.
Stormy skies
We stopped at the park after school. It was wonderfully windy and grey and the sky had a lot to say.
Don’t you just love stormy skies?
Daily Prompt: Copies
The sincerest form of flattery (or extreme source of annoyance) is to copy something you admire. I have always loved the poem Indian Summer by William Campbell. We had to memorize it in grade five. Which I could not, I was an extremely introverted misfit and would go blank at just the thought of having to say anything to anyone. My fifth grade teacher was a mortifying copy of Ms. Finster (you know from Recess!) I blame some of my trauma on her. Actually I blame her for 89% of it. Here is Indian Summer and my rendition below it:
“Indian Summer”
Along the line of smoky hills
- The crimson forest stands,
And all the day the blue-jay calls
- Throughout the autumn lands.
Now by the brook the maple leans,
- With all his glory spread;
And all the sumachs on the hills
- Have turned their green to red.
Now, by great marshes wrapt in mist,
- Or past some river’s mouth,
Throughout the long still autumn day
- Wild birds are flying south.
- “Kidsindahouse Summer”
- Within the walls of smoke-filled kitchen,
The offspring burn their toast.
And all morning I bury skull in pillow,
In sleep I am engrossed.
Now by afternoon the house is still standing,
Although a filthy mess;
And all my brats claim innocence
None of them confess.
Now its high time I got out of bed,
I really need some tea,
Throughout our abode the kids do scatter
‘Cause I’m petrifying to see.
My fifth grade teacher actually looked just like this.
Desi Mom: Parenting 101
I was born and (mostly) raised in Canada. My parents were clueless FOBs (fresh off the boat) and I blame them for my thoroughly awkward upbringing. I was a total geeky loser in school, yes right up to high school. My post is absolutely not related to my traumatized childhood, I just wanted to get that off my chest.
In the many years I spent in Pakistan I learned the importance of plastic shopping bags and yogurt containers. Also that if you aren’t quick at weddings when they signal dinner, you will find there is no coke left. Or chicken broast. So don’t be shy.
Raising five monsters kids in Karachi has given me, besides nerves of steel and the amazing ability to not go pee for 48 hours, some multicultural expertise I feel I must bestow on non-desi moms.
1. You can live without water: When there is no electricity for 9 hours straight you can count on running out of water. The kids need a shower. What the hell do you think baby powder was invented for? Douse those little buggers with it. Sprinkle it in their puppy dog smelling hair and dust it out. Not only will the greasiness be replaced with powderiness, the powder will absorb all further sweating. Inevitable since there’s no electricity and its 40 degrees in the house.
2. Never throw away plastic bags: Keep plastic bags handy in the car, in all your handbags and purses even in your jeans’ pockets. Teenager 2 always got car sick as a little boy. I could catch his involuntary projectile of gastric juice without blinking. Plastic bags are also good for when there is no gas station on a road trip. Or if you are in Karachi, where the gas stations are so dirty your child would prefer to poop his pants.
3. Don’t buy toys: You know very well that once the box is opened it takes about 3 and a half minutes for the charm of that $35 toy to disappear completely. My mother-in-law could keep Middle Child busy for hours with her empty plastic pill containers. The allure lay in the fact that the containers could be closed and opened again and again and again and….
4. Kids need to be spanked: Your kid needs to know you are the boss. If you think “let’s talk about what you are feeling right now” and “we need to think about the consequences” is working than you are a dummy mummy. That is Junior knowing he got away with it by showing remorse he certainly doesn’t feel, he or she is already planning the next escapade. Spank that kid! Just ask Russel Peters…”Somebody’s a gonna get a hurt!”
5. A good sweater can be used for at least four siblings. Oh yes I did. In the span of ten years. We still have the sweater.
6. Never praise your kids in their presence: Always ask them why they can’t be more like your sister’s children, your cousin’s children, your neighbor’s children, your brother-in-law’s children, anybody’s children. It keeps them competitive, no of course it will not hurt their self-esteem.
7. Always one up other moms: Don’t let your sister, your cousin, your neighbor or anyone else have the last word on their children’s achievements. Whatever they say is 50% exaggeration, beat them with their own rules. Example? Your child got her black belt last year. So what if she was only five?
Stay posted for more Desi tips.
Random Thought About : Snow. And Dogs.
(Photo by me. Beautiful, clean and poop free snow!)
I just had a random thought. Why can’t dogs bury their poop like cats? I like dogs. I just don’t like their poop lying hidden in the grass. Another random thought, why don’t owners pick up their dog’s poop like they are supposed to? Does it give them some creepy joy, the thought of some unsuspecting random person accidentally stepping in their dog’s poop? Do they think it looks festive in the snow in winter? Do they know how hard it is to keep reminding six-year-old twins to watch where they are walking, don’t pick up the snow without examining it carefully to make sure it is dog poop free, and stay off the grassy edges of the sidewalk because that is where dog owners like to leave the most dog poop? We don’t want to see dog poop. Not in the grass or in the snow, not by a tree or under the park bench. However we also don’t want to not see it, so just pick it up! OR get a cat. My rant for the day. Thank you.
(photo from: http://hoboken411.com/archives/34284)
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Pet Names
Someone give me a recipe for motivation. Motivate me to write regularly and stop procrastinating. It’s just that it is sooo hard to make myself write, finish that novel, write hundreds of different query letters, get hundreds of rejection letters. Hit me on the head, tell me to stop whining, it happens to every writer. So just finish the damned novel and write a blog post once a week.
We are thinking of moving into a bigger place and the kids want a dog. I want a husky, Cauliflower wants a golden retriever, the Twins want anything that wags a tail, barks and gets excited about nothing. We are not getting a dog. I promised the kids we might go for another cat. A friend for Patchy. I am a bad candidate for women’s lib, I want a male cat because they are more affectionate in my experience. Cauliflower suggested we name the future affectionate tom cat Sh*t.
I stared at her because I was sure I hadn’t heard her right.
“Don’t use that language!”
“No seriously think how much fun it would be. The neighbors will get plenty of amusement whenever we call the cat.”
I thought for a moment. And smiled. Then I laughed. “Sh*t! Sh*t where are you? Here Sh*tty Sh*tty Sh*tty Sh*tty!”
“What about this?” Cauliflower made a suggestion, “Sh*t you missed the litter box again! Sh*t I am not cleaning up your sh*t anymore!”
Or,
“Sh*t come on it’s your favorite Sh*t, come and get it. Does Sh*t want some tuna?”
“Where’s Sh*t? There he is! There’s Sh*t! Whose a good Sh*tty? Sh*t’s a good sh*tty!”
“Sh*t is so adorable, look at Sh*t lying there being cute!”
Waiting to play with Sh*t.
Any other suggestions for pet names are welcome.
Tag, You’re It!
I was tagged by thelostkerryman for “Tagging Thyme“, thanks. You have to answer 11 weird questions then tag 11 people who would be willing to answer weird questions. I am grateful for weird people.
1. What is the strangest thing you have ever eaten in public?
Nothing terribly exotic here. I don’t eat gross stuff like escargot, chocolate covered grasshoppers or fried snakes. And I never will. I did eat paan,ONCE, when I was in Pakistan. That is betel leaf with yucky stuff like slaked lime (yes), tobacco and betel nut (which will break your teeth) wrapped in it. It is bitter, causes cancer and tastes like crap. Every South Asian has a thing for it. I spat it out right there in the street while being stared at by amused onlookers. I was not amused.
2. If you had to go on an adventure, with elves, dwarves, or hobbits, who would you take and why?
Well what do you think eh? Orlando Bloom, John Rhys- Davies or Elijah Wood? The elf, duh! I think the ‘why’ is self-explanatory.
3. You are at a rural retreat lodge somewhere deep in Wisconsin or Canada. You are approached by a taxidermist who hands you a stuffed badger and asks you to put it in your lap. What do you do next?
I like animals alive running around the forest with the elves. I will probably beat the taxidermist then stuff him.
4. If you were given biscotti, would you prefer it with coffee, tea, or hot chocolate?
What the hell are those? I will have to go buy a pack, try them and get back to you. Don’t look at me like that! I have five kids, all I know about is chocolate chip cookies and Tim Horton‘s. But I like strong tea and French Vanilla Supreme.
5. In your opinion, who is the funniest man or woman alive today (comedian)
ELLEN! I love you Ellen. And you already know I love Bill Cosby. And some guy named Sugar Sammy because 1. he’s Canadian 2. he’s Indian and 3. he’s funny.
6. If you were given thirty seconds on television to say something, what would it be?
“Eh, nice weather eh?”
7. What is your idea of the most romantic date setting ever?
I’m married to a South Asian. What the hell is romance?
8. If you could go on one date with a movie or television star, who would it be and why?
Don’t know. Ok I just don’t wanna tell you! He won’t be South Asian that’s for sure!
9. What is the worst song you have ever heard?
I don’t know about the worst song ever…actually there was one by Paul Lekakis, must be the worst ever. Whenever I hear ‘Locked out of Heaven’ by Bruno Mars I change the radio station. It really bugs me, don’t know why.
10. If you could live anywhere else, where would it be?
It would still be Canada. But I would love to be able to travel to places like Malaysia.
11. Who- in your opinion- was the greatest person to ever live?
That would have to be more than one. The Prophets, all of them. They are the best, no one can compare to their personalities. Now I am tagging :
1. http://www.darlenefoster.ca/
3. http://theurgetowander.com/
4. http://snapflycook.wordpress.com/
5. http://addictivestory.wordpress.com/
6. http://catherinemjohnson.wordpress.com/
7. http://imdbwords.wordpress.com/
9. http://remediesforhealth.wordpress.com/
10. http://iamawriterdangit.wordpress.com/
11. http://seyisandradavid.org/
There were a lot of other people but I could only pick 11. I know some of you write serious blogs, but it is good to have fun once in a while!
(Pic from Google ’cause I couldn’t find the pencil sharpener eh. The other one is mine.)
What to do on a Snow Day
I am sick today. And I sit here with a box of tissues, a bottle of hydrasense and a clove of burning garlic shoved in my aching ear. I am too sick to do anything but have random thoughts and watch boring shows on TV. Daytime television is bleh. There is more snow coming. “When the snows fall and the white winds blow…” the bus ain’t coming cause school is closed.
For Moms:
1. Make a huge amount of hot chocolate. Pour in a bottle of Benadryl. Give them as much as they like, they’ll all be out before you know it.
2. Send them outside and offer a ‘ten’ for every igloo they make. They’ll stay out of your hair the whole day. Then give them a dime for every igloo. What?
3. Send them over to Grandma’s. That is what parents are for. (Be sure to move to Florida after they get married and have their own kids.)
For Kids:
1. Make your own hot chocolate.
2. Offer to make breakfast and let Mom go back to sleep.
3. Clean the house while Mom sleeps.
4. Take care of younger brothers and sisters while Mom sleeps.
5. Make chicken sandwiches for lunch, feed everyone, then clean up the kitchen while Mom sleeps.
6. Make Mom the best cup of coffee/tea ever and serve it to her on a tray with a flower in bed.
7. If you can’t manage all the above, take all your brothers and sisters and go over to Grandma’s. Stay there.
Any more ideas for the next snow day?
(All pics courtesy of moi taken on Feb 8)
khaula Siddique 